No, You Can’t Define Sobriety On Your Own Terms & Here’s Why
As a member of various online sober communities, I see more and more people attempting to define sobriety on their own terms as if this descriptor is somehow fluid. Peppered into my Facebook Newsfeed are various iterations of the following:
I identify as sober but I still drink a little here and there. I had a glass of wine at dinner last night, but I’m still sober. I’m not going to let it get to me!
In the comment thread, an inevitable war ensues. Those who have a few years of sobriety under their belt are quick to call the commenters out. And equally, there are the sober curious and newbies who come to rally in support.
Sobriety By Numbers
In one of these groups, a well-intending newcomer posted the following comment (which I am paraphrasing out of respect for her privacy):
Why do we have to start over at zero if we make a mistake and drink? It ends up making me feel so much worse about myself. Why can’t we just use fractions? Why can’t we say I’ve been sober 44/45 days? A lot of people get depressed by the number when they slip up and it drives some people to suicide. I think fractions are better.
Before I dive into why I believe this way of thinking is dangerous, let me say that I empathize with the…
